By Linda Sechrist

Perhaps best known for her Hot Chocolate for the Mystical Soul series, in her latest book, The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction, seven-time author Arielle Ford explains how you can take control of your romantic destiny.

How do you describe a soulmate?

I believe that a soulmate is someone to whom you feel a deep and profound connection; a person with whom you feel completely comfortable being yourself; an individual whom you love unconditionally and who loves you unconditionally. Without sounding too sentimental, it is someone who you feel completes you.

The film, Shall We Dance?, starring Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon, features a grand scene where Sarandon’s character explains why we all want a soulmate relationship. “We need a witness to our lives,” she says. “There are billions of people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? Your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.”

A soulmate is your witness.

Do you believe in the possibility of more than one soulmate?

Although most individuals think of a soulmate in romantic terms, I believe that there are other kinds. A good example is the friendship and strong connection that television personality Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King share. I see theirs as a soulmate relationship. I also believe pets can connect on such a deep level that they deserve to be called soulmates. Why do so many people struggle with finding their true love?

A typical reason is that after a few bad relationships, some people unconsciously shut down and give up. They no longer believe the right person is out there for them. One part of them says, “Yes, I want a relationship.” Another laments, “No! I’m afraid to get hurt again.”

An important part of manifesting love is preparing yourself for it by overcoming emotional wounds. The Soulmate Secret provides processes, projects and emotional release techniques that can assist in healing your heart and opening you up to love.

What universal law can be used in this search?

The Law of Attraction demonstrates that you attract to you the people, events and experiences that match your state of being. If you focus on being filled with gratitude for the love, companionship and joy you presently have in your life, you will attract more of that. When you focus on what you don’t have, you send out a message of lack. In return, you attract more lack.

In the movie, Conversations With God, the main character says to God, “I just want my life back.” To which God replies, “You can’t have anything that you want.” God then explains in a dialogue that in “wanting” something (or someone), one only gets the experience and the feeling of “wanting,” and nothing else.

In preparation for manifesting your soulmate, begin “living as if.” This means that your daily actions are congruent with your beliefs. For example, I once heard about a famous actress who, while waiting for her soulmate, set a place at the table for him at each meal. Eventually, he arrived in her life. The actress sent a clear message to the Universe and the Universe delivered.

What are the key steps to manifesting a soulmate?

In addition to healing your heart from past relationships, you need to create a clear intention. My favorite analogy is the one about placing an order.

When you walk into your favorite coffee shop, you confidently place your order with the barista, who smiles, writes the order on the side of a cup and takes your money. Within minutes, you are walking out the door with the exact, delicious cup of brew that you ordered.

Ordering up a soulmate from the Universe works in a similar way. Although it’s not always as instantaneous, it can be just as precise.

For the Universe to deliver your perfect soulmate, you must clearly place your order. First, search your heart for what you truly desire, and then make a detailed list of your soulmate’s desirable qualities. I recommend that you create a ritual for releasing your list to the Universe and then let go, trusting that the person you are looking for is also looking for you. Visit SoulMateSecret.com.

For more on Arielle Ford, see EveryThingYouShouldKnow.com.