by S. Alison Chabonais

Healthy energy habits, applied to gender awareness, result in extraordinary relationships, say Paul and Patty Richards, whose 59 “Energetic Facts of Life” emanate from their own experience. They teach these principles through the Senté Center they co-founded in the United States and New Zealand.

Both are trained seers who formerly enjoyed dynamic careers in aerospace engineering and nursing. They call for the intelligent harmonizing of masculine and feminine energies in intimate relationships as pivotal to humanity’s survival. This month, in honor of Valentines everywhere, Natural Awakenings explores some of the key principles this lovingly aware pair practices, as articulated in their new book, Wild Attraction.

How do we ensure that we are attracted to and attracting a safe, available partner?

At heart, you must first have a confidently open, positive expectation that qualified candidates exist. It’s a complex process these days to find a healthy, well-suited individual. Knowing this helps you relax, rather than worry about the near misses, whose roles are to teach us about fatal flaws and help us make better choices.

Two things lead to a successful selection process: time and community. Getting to know a potential partner over time, in many environments and circumstances, draws you close as you see into their world, become a part of their community and erase ‘knowledge gaps’ about their life that can make you feel unsure. Look for a compassionate view of both genders, one not tangled in self. How do they treat people over whom they have power? Tune out their words and witness their actions.

Ask the most glorious couple you know for help in discerning the qualities that would make an ideal mate for you. Women best evaluate women. A good man has the eyes to see another good man. In today’s highly mobile communities, we’re operating blind when it comes to an individual’s roots and reputation. Ask around.

How do welcoming eyes see others?

Welcoming eyes have a ‘bring it on’ expression, projected in the upper half of the face, from the nose to the hairline. They exude confidence in their own power to move forward and to connect in mutual joy with another, with no need to prove anything. Elijah Wood’s visage in the final leaving Middle Earth scene of The Lord of the Rings embodies welcome. Babies’ and dogs’ faces evidence such love in motion.

In contrast, the sorting eyes we use in the workplace, constantly evaluating good versus bad, are on guard against the unknown, warily seeking to squelch unpredictability. These are not helpful in setting up a relationship of a lifetime.

A welcoming, yes-based life embraces new people and experiences. It loves and accepts the mystery in us more than what is known and enjoys the inevitable surprise.

Why is it essential to constantly assure your mate that he or she is your first choice?

Feeling chosen changes a person’s energy. Something compressed inside lets go when you register that someone has selected you as the center of their universe. If you are fortunate, you first experienced this from a parent, as a child. Women, in particular, want to feel cherished and claimed. When you declare your primary choice, all other choices line up around it. Getting behind your choice is transformational; it facilitates the formation of a stunning relationship. A mate, lover, best friend and life companion needs to have uncontested access in a heart-space not filled with children, work, hobbies or a pet. What can lovers do to consciously keep the fire alive and the embers glowing?

The hallmark of Cary Grant’s appeal for women is that he was constantly paying attention to them, not out of need, but in sophisticated appreciation of the feminine. Men bring the energy of attention that women thrive on. Even simple rituals, like arriving each day declaring, “I love seeing you when I get home,” communicates that you value her presence in your life. Asking what she needs and responding chivalrously, with a natural spring in your step, acknowledges that you find her interesting. Men are relieved to understand that their service is needed and appreciated and thrive on hearing what a “Good job!” they are doing.

Rather than ask “What attracts me?” ask “What changes me?” Avoiding change and continuing to do things your own way dulls an already tame attraction, but doing the work to connect with what delights your lover keeps the relationship charged and fires the wild attraction that answers your heart’s desire far beyond your imaginings.

Paul and Patty Richards apply their extraordinary powers of awareness to see beyond the ordinary fabric of physical reality in order to help individuals perceive and cultivate their own greatness. Learn more about Wild Attraction at SenteCenter.com.