I had my first crush when I was seven on Michael Williams, who even then I identified as tall, dark and handsome. He had jet black  hair, smoldering brown eyes, a dazzling smile and the coolest Scooby Doo lunchbox I’d ever seen. I was absolutely smitten and spent most of second grade vying for his attention. We chased each other on the playground, romantically threw spitballs at one another and when he pulled my pigtails, I melted.

Eventually this immature relationship dissolved, but the underlying pattern remained: I continued to spend years pursuing a playmate instead of a soulmate. In our society and our media we often reduce people down to their parts when looking for true love - an ample busom, bulging biceps, nice butt, six-pack abs, a high profile job, a slender physique or a fat wallet. And when these relationships fall apart we’re often stunned that they didn’t work out. What would it be like if we searched for a whole, sentient being instead? A conversation might go like this:

“Wow, I met the greatest guy last night, Susie. When I looked across the room and saw him, he had the most beautiful, clear aura. I was immediately drawn to his essence and struck up a conversation. His eyes led me deep into his soul and I could see that his heart was wide open, his energy was pure and his vibration high. He was very mindful and completely in the moment with me. And, oh yea, he was really hot, too. We’re going on our first date next week to see the Dalai Lama.”

Seriously though, we need to explore whether we have a genuine affinity for someone and aren’t just taken with how they look, what they drive or what they do. We must get clear on who we really are so we can attract the right person to enjoy a shared reality together. There has to be something sustainable to rely on when we endure the peaks and valleys of life. Once I put out my cosmic welcome mat, I was able to develop a deep, meaningful relationship. So life is good, we chase each other around (but not on the playground) and when he pulls my pigtails, I melt.

True love can come at any age if we are ready and open. So do some self-cleansing and get ready to see more clearly and love more deeply that you ever have before.